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Walk into the room and can’t find your keys? Or forget why you entered the room in the first place? Wondering what has happened to your short-term memory? Feel overwhelmed by information, people, to-do lists and demands on your time?
You very well could be suffering from SADD-situational attention deficit disorder, a term coined by Anderson Consulting Institute for Strategic Change. Specifically, most of us are now in situations in which we are bombarded by so many demands for our attention that our brains close down.
It’s a phenomenon of our time. Our brains, evolved over eons to respond to our environment and each other are exponentially being taxed by the growth in information and technology. Everyone and everything is vying for attention. We are hardwired to respond but when it’s deluged like that, the brain just “goes blind”. Engineers discovered this phenomenon when they installed hundreds of communication devices in cockpits, thinking it would improve the pilot’s performance. Instead, when the pilot’s performance decreased.
Information and technology will no go away. But there are ways to turn from “SAAD” to glad.
- Determine your priorities and focus on them.
Don’t let yourself be pulled into anything from meetings, to readings, to conversations that thwart your priorities. Literally block out space on your daily to-do list for things that are important to you: from projects, to exercise, to family time. Hold these times as sacred.
- Say “no” to answering every message.
The average American receives 201 phone, paper, and e-mail messages a day. Take care of those that are priority and let the rest drop off. Ignore the messages that are uninvited and unnecessary.
- Let technology work for you in prioritizing.
Called ID and voice mail can allow you to screen calls. For those who depend upon business coming in via phone and need to take every call, develop a way to shorten incoming sales calls. Telemarketing calls that come in via a computer dial-up have a few seconds of silence before a voice is heard. If that’s the case, just hang up. If you are solicited, ask them to please out your name on the DO NOT call list. And then hang up.
- Create a centering place.
Whether it is in the silence of your car, or in a shower, or closing your door, take 15 minutes per day to practice paying attention to ONE thing: your breathing, a flower, a fish tank. Like the muscle in our bodies, the brain gets strong I the places where we train it. Focus turns SADD into glad!
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- Remember, if you don’t make the request, it will NEVER happen.
Wayne Gretzky once said, “One hundred percent of the shots I don’t make don’t go in.” Likewise, the unasked question is never answered.
- Don’t beat around the bush.
- If it’s an extraordinary request, say so.
BIG requests are often the best requests. Be 100% upfront and honest about what you want and what’s involved.
- If the request is work that YOU normally (or should) do, explain why you can’t.
You don’t need to provide tons of detail, but again, be honest with the person you’re making the request of (and with yourself).
- Don’t assume you know what the answer will be.
Maybe they’ll say “No.” Of course, they might say “Yes.”
- Recognize that the person can say “No.”
You may not like it, but it will happen from time to time. Accept it and move on.
- Make one request at a time.
Asking for help, assistance, changes, etc., is fine, but don’t overwhelm a person with multiple requests all at once.
- Make the request clear and distinct.
If there’s an exact way it needs to be done, let the person know. Give them all the information to make a good decision, but also so they can really do what you need them to do.
- Trust the person to do the right thing.
If you’ve made your request clear and the person has said that they’ll do itFeature Articles, expect they’ll do it correctly. Don’t follow them around and hound them about it.
- Say “Thank you.” (Even if they turn you down.)
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If you’re one of the many who find it difficult to assert themselves the following might be of assistance. Remember, you don’t exist on this planet to be someone’s doormat.
Don’t avoid expressing your negative or critical feelings. They are not bad or improper, they are just your feelings and you are entitled to them.
Feelings aren’t facts. They are just feelings.
Use “I” Language to indicate that the feelings you are expressing are yours. You are not accusing or judging anyone.
You don’t have to justify your feelings, you only need to state them.
Assertive behaviour discloses your wants, needs ,preferences and opinions. Aggressive behaviour discounts, ignores and over-rides the wants, needs, preferences and opinions of others.
Assertive behaviour supports your own dignity, while aggressive behaviour demeans the dignity of others.
Toxic people usually put others down when relating to them , with a look of distainPsychology Articles, a sarcastic remark or direct verbal bullying.
You must have the courage to be assertive.
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The principle of abundance is revealed in many ancient teachings. Sacred writings reveal that the outer world is the reflection of the inner world – as above so as below. We are surrounded by an abundance of love, joy, money and health. The amount of our intake, however, is equal to the limitations we place on our emotions, behaviors, thoughts and actions.
Our inherent belief system is what blocks the constant flow of abundance. For instance, you may have learned as a child that you cannot ask for more than what you have. Or maybe you were taught that once you receive abundance, you are going to lose it. Perhaps you were even told that it is there for others but not for you, that you are not worthy. By continuing to harbor these beliefs, you have essentially disconnected yourself from abundance and unconsciously refuse it.
In order to live an abundant life filled with love, money, health and joy, we need to reduce our limitations. This can be done through meditation, developing insight, acknowledging the divine presence within, saying affirmations, and trusting universal abundance. Rather than focusing on results, we should focus on the source of their creation: ourselves.
Below, I offer several aromatherapy blends and affirmations to help you make the right changes, embrace life and enjoy all its abundant gifts.
Each aromatic blend should be prepared in a 10-ml bottle. Pour the essential oils first, and then add organic vegetable oil to fill (sweet almond, jojoba, grapeseed, etc.).
Prepare the blends and participate in the affirmations while in a meditative state. Find a quiet place and sit very comfortably. Take a few deep breaths to fully relax and clear your chatting mind. Apply the blends on the third eye, solar plexus and heart chakra. Take a few deep breaths again. Say the affirmation aloud. Close your eyes. Hold the vision for 10 or 15 minutes. Practice on a daily basis.
The more you hold the vision and raise your consciousness, the more you open yourself to receive and manifest abundance.
Artist who are looking for the synthetic version of the natural product that can imitate the acoustical characteristics of gut, you can use the succesful baritone uke tuning, which is done just like the four smallest strings of a guitar. You can easy to use your baritone ukulele to still follow and play along with standard-tuned lessons. The new synthetic material strings are quickly becoming the choice of ukulele players worldwide.
Last week, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal.
When my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from the room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it’s a perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children’s noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they be expected to be.
As our children grew older, they were always told the rules of our outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, it’s fine to let them get a little crazy … just know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior’s vocal or behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It’s rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don’t give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home, not in public.
Last night, my girls and I were in a department store. There was a toddler carrying on and screaming for more than 15 minutes when my younger daughter said: “Now his mommy is going to tell him to stop because there are other people in here that don’t want to hear it!”
Unfortunately, his mommy did not tell him any such thing. She let him wail and scream and cry, much to the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the store. You know what? As much as I love kids and cannot bear to see or hear them suffering, I disliked this kid immensely!
My reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free to trample on the peace, space or rose gardens of others, they will develop into spoiled and inconsiderate brats. And then who will like them? Who will want to spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving parents, will be able to tolerate their lack of social graces and good manners? No one … except maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home with a similarly clueless individual. Do we really want our children reduced to such horrible options? I think not.
We teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their brother in the nose. Shouldn’t we teach them respect for others at the same time? That their whining and out-of-control behavior is something no one really wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who have no vested interest in their developing minds or self-esteem? A simple reminder of the rules, consistently, works wonders … eventually. ;-)
Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them well.
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