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Is it time for you to change your attitude about success? Maybe…
I’ve found in much of my work with people on creating a better, more positive attitude towards life that many of us have a misunderstanding about success and what makes us successful.
Here are the ten most common misconceptions people have about success and some thoughts about those misconceptions.
#. Some people can’t be successful because of their background, education, etc.
Anybody can be successful. It’s a matter of wanting to, then doing what it takes to achieve it.
#. Successful people don’t make mistakes.
Successful people make mistakes just like we all do. They just don’t repeat them.
#. You’ve got to work 60 (70, 80, 90…) hours a week to be successful.
It’s not a matter of doing A LOT of something. It’s more about doing the right thing.
#. You’ll only be a success if you play by the rules.
Who makes up the rules anyway? Each situation is different. Sometimes following the rules is needed, other times making up your own rules is what’s required.
#. If you have help along the way, it’s not success.
Success rarely occurs in a vacuum. Recognize the people who help you become successful, there are plenty of them.
#. It takes a lot of luck to be successful.
It takes some luck to be successful, sure. It takes a lot more hard work, diligence, knowledge, and application.
#. It’s only success if you make a lot of money.
Money is just one of many benefits to success, but it’s not guaranteed.
#. It’s only success if everybody knows it.
You may get more money and more accolades the more people know about what you’ve done. But, even if you were the only one who knew it, you’d still be a success.
#. Success is a goal.
Success is more what you get when you achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself. Saying that you “want to be a success” begs the question: “At what?”
#. Once I’m successful, my troubles are over.
You may be successful, but you’re not God. You’ll still have the ups and downs that you did before. Enjoy what success you achieve and live each day as it comes.
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In this hectic, modern world of ours there is often a great need for us to slow down, calm ourselves, and find some peace and quiet. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Plan daily “quiet time”
The best way to quiet down is to plan 30-minutes (or more) of daily quiet time. Time you can spend quietly, with yourself and your thoughts.
- Create a noise-free zone
Designate one room of your house as a noise-free zone where family members can go relax.
- Turn off the television/radio
Do you leave your t.v. or radio on as “background noise?” If so, try turning them off.
- Turn off your telephone, especially at night
Nothing is more disturbing than the shrill ring of a telephone when you are trying to relax. Turn off your phone’s ringer. Let the answering machine or voicemail system get a message.
- Turn off your cel phone
In fact, leave it at home. After a while you may find that you don’t even need it.
- Turn off your beeper
Do you really need to be contactable every minute of every day?
- Turn off your computer
Today, we receive as much information in a single day as a person did in an entire year in the early 1900 ‘s. A large portion of that wave of information comes from our daily contact with the computer… so turn it off. Check your email tomorrow. Give your mind a rest.
- Get away from the kids, the pets, etc.
Ask a friend or family member to babysit/petsit for you for a day or two. (Then help them get some quiet time and return the favor.)
- Take a nap
We are much more sensitive to the stress noise creates when we are lacking sleep. So take a nap and recharge your batteries.
- Take a hike!
Literally. If you’re going to surround yourself with noise, then surround yourself with the noise of nature. Reconnect with yourself and with the natural world around youComputer Technology Articles, stroll around your favorite park or recreation area.
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Walk into the room and can’t find your keys? Or forget why you entered the room in the first place? Wondering what has happened to your short-term memory? Feel overwhelmed by information, people, to-do lists and demands on your time?
You very well could be suffering from SADD-situational attention deficit disorder, a term coined by Anderson Consulting Institute for Strategic Change. Specifically, most of us are now in situations in which we are bombarded by so many demands for our attention that our brains close down.
It’s a phenomenon of our time. Our brains, evolved over eons to respond to our environment and each other are exponentially being taxed by the growth in information and technology. Everyone and everything is vying for attention. We are hardwired to respond but when it’s deluged like that, the brain just “goes blind”. Engineers discovered this phenomenon when they installed hundreds of communication devices in cockpits, thinking it would improve the pilot’s performance. Instead, when the pilot’s performance decreased.
Information and technology will no go away. But there are ways to turn from “SAAD” to glad.
- Determine your priorities and focus on them.
Don’t let yourself be pulled into anything from meetings, to readings, to conversations that thwart your priorities. Literally block out space on your daily to-do list for things that are important to you: from projects, to exercise, to family time. Hold these times as sacred.
- Say “no” to answering every message.
The average American receives 201 phone, paper, and e-mail messages a day. Take care of those that are priority and let the rest drop off. Ignore the messages that are uninvited and unnecessary.
- Let technology work for you in prioritizing.
Called ID and voice mail can allow you to screen calls. For those who depend upon business coming in via phone and need to take every call, develop a way to shorten incoming sales calls. Telemarketing calls that come in via a computer dial-up have a few seconds of silence before a voice is heard. If that’s the case, just hang up. If you are solicited, ask them to please out your name on the DO NOT call list. And then hang up.
- Create a centering place.
Whether it is in the silence of your car, or in a shower, or closing your door, take 15 minutes per day to practice paying attention to ONE thing: your breathing, a flower, a fish tank. Like the muscle in our bodies, the brain gets strong I the places where we train it. Focus turns SADD into glad!
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- Remember, if you don’t make the request, it will NEVER happen.
Wayne Gretzky once said, “One hundred percent of the shots I don’t make don’t go in.” Likewise, the unasked question is never answered.
- Don’t beat around the bush.
- If it’s an extraordinary request, say so.
BIG requests are often the best requests. Be 100% upfront and honest about what you want and what’s involved.
- If the request is work that YOU normally (or should) do, explain why you can’t.
You don’t need to provide tons of detail, but again, be honest with the person you’re making the request of (and with yourself).
- Don’t assume you know what the answer will be.
Maybe they’ll say “No.” Of course, they might say “Yes.”
- Recognize that the person can say “No.”
You may not like it, but it will happen from time to time. Accept it and move on.
- Make one request at a time.
Asking for help, assistance, changes, etc., is fine, but don’t overwhelm a person with multiple requests all at once.
- Make the request clear and distinct.
If there’s an exact way it needs to be done, let the person know. Give them all the information to make a good decision, but also so they can really do what you need them to do.
- Trust the person to do the right thing.
If you’ve made your request clear and the person has said that they’ll do itFeature Articles, expect they’ll do it correctly. Don’t follow them around and hound them about it.
- Say “Thank you.” (Even if they turn you down.)
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If you’re one of the many who find it difficult to assert themselves the following might be of assistance. Remember, you don’t exist on this planet to be someone’s doormat.
Don’t avoid expressing your negative or critical feelings. They are not bad or improper, they are just your feelings and you are entitled to them.
Feelings aren’t facts. They are just feelings.
Use “I” Language to indicate that the feelings you are expressing are yours. You are not accusing or judging anyone.
You don’t have to justify your feelings, you only need to state them.
Assertive behaviour discloses your wants, needs ,preferences and opinions. Aggressive behaviour discounts, ignores and over-rides the wants, needs, preferences and opinions of others.
Assertive behaviour supports your own dignity, while aggressive behaviour demeans the dignity of others.
Toxic people usually put others down when relating to them , with a look of distainPsychology Articles, a sarcastic remark or direct verbal bullying.
You must have the courage to be assertive.
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